Mar

31

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Harry Potter and the Transphobic Tweet

JK Rowling finally loses her impeccable PC credentials

This is hilarious. These people can turn on each other faster than sharks! And of course rent-a-gob Jack “non-binary” Monroe just had to get involved.

I bet Rowling just saw the feminist message and automatically ‘liked’ the post without reading it too carefully. What’s even funnier it that everyone is attacking her as if she had written the whole thing, not just retweeted it. I don’t suppose a pack of hyenas can read too well either.

Men in dresses indeed.

A spokesman for Ms Rowling said she had ‘liked’ the tweet by accident, telling The Mail on Sunday: ‘It was a mistake. I’m afraid J.K. Rowling had a clumsy middle-aged moment.

‘This is not the first time she has favourited [a post] by holding her phone incorrectly.’

Oh, this is lame. I knew she was quite the coward as well as a hypocrite but this is truly lame. When you are the kind of person who loves attacking in an extremely self-righteous and vitriolic way anyone who disagrees with you, you really should be able to cope with being on the receiving end instead of hiding behind your minions. The next time Rowling has a go at Donald Trump for tweeting something stupid and/or offensive, I hope someone reminds her of this little incident.

In the furore, the message of the tweet – that trans rights matter more than womens’s rights – has been totally forgotten, thus beautifully proving the point of the original poster.

Feb

23

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

In the UK, customer service is… different

Class shaming on Virgin Trains

That’s one hell of a manager. I’ve always thought people in the service industry would find it so much easier to do their work if only the general public didn’t exist.

This story reminds me of the time I was told off by a Post Office employee for attempting to post a large parcel after 4.30pm (closing time is 5.30pm, I was there around 5). He explained that the van collects all parcels at 4.30pm and any parcel that arrives after this time is left lying on the office floor until the next day, which inconveniences the staff. His tone made it very clear that I was really making his day worse by adding to the pile, even though I had no way under the sun to know this kind of information. It’s not like there were posters on the wall or anything.

I was seriously taken aback by this unprovoked attack but, unlike the average Brit, did not actually apologise for being such a thoughtless paying customer. Even after 24 years in this country, I have my limits.

Feb

1

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

French Banks vs. The World

I am trying to get my French bank to update my address in my online profile.

I sent them a bill as proof of address:

(name, house number and street name obscured for privacy)

They did make the change, in a manner of speaking:

(name obscured for privacy)

As you can see, they left out the house number, street name and postcode. Plus a misspelling in the town name. Who cares whether I receive their letters or not? Serves me right for living abroad in the first place!

The French antipathy for anything English is not a myth… they can be seriously passive-aggressive about it too.

Incidentally, this is the same bank that did not allow me to make a deposit (not a withdrawal) from a random branch in Normandy a couple of years ago, because my branch is in Picardy. Apparently this bank, despite having a national presence, is run on a strictly regional basis.

I did tell the employee: “Are you aware this is the 21st century?” and got a superb Gallic shrug in return.

And people wonder why I would rather die than go back.

Update 22.02.2018: Since posting this, I have emailed them twice. No reply whatsoever. Stay classy, Caisse D’Epargne.

Jun

30

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Do you hear the people sigh?

Today is the 155th anniversary of the publication of Les Misérables, my favourite French novel ever. Champagne!

Looks like ladettes are a thing in France too

Now, it’s nice of the Independent to write a little article about Victor Hugo but a bit of research and accuracy would have helped.

Born in 1802, three-years after Napoleon seized power, he was already famous as a poet, artist and novelist by the time he was 30 and he had had time to study law.

A fierce critic of Napoleon, Hugo fled France after the 1851 coup d’etat that brought Bonaparte to power.

Is it me or do they make it sound like it’s the same Napoléon seizing power twice within a fifty-year period? Is the Independent even aware there were two? (well, technically three).

The one in the second quote is of course Louis-Napoléon Bonaparte, Napoléon I’s nephew who became the second Emperor of the French. The first Napoléon was long dead by then.

They both liked their horsey rides though

After spells in Belgium and Jersey he settled in the smaller Channel Island of Guernsey, where the writer would live for the next 15 years.

It proved to be one of the most productive periods of his life, as Hugo penned his two most celebrated volumes of poetry and most of Les Miserables – which he began in the 1845 but did not complete until 1862.

It means arguably the most famous work of French literature was actually written in Britain.

Guernsey is not part of Britain, in fact it’s not even in the UK. It’s a Crown Dependency.

[Albanian accent] Good luck.[/Albanian accent]

I suppose I should count my blessings: at least the article doesn’t say Les Mis is set during the French Revolution (yes, I have read this. More than once).

Apr

24

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Gotta love champagne socialists

I am very amused by this picture in Le Parisien of distraught Mélenchon voters, one of whom is carrying a Hédiard carrier bag (famous Parisian luxury food store, a bit like Fortnum & Mason’s).

Shopping therapy is a thing

Mar

30

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Hermione is the new black

Here is the indeniable proof that all that guff about black Hermione in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was in fact a large quantity of agenda-driven bullshit.

Reminder:

JKR2

A cast change has just been announced. Behold the new Hermione Granger, Rakie Ayola:

Back Row (left to right) James Howard (Draco Malfoy), Emma Lowndes (Ginny Potter), Jamie Glover (Harry Potter).
Front Row (left to right) Thomas Aldridge (Ron Weasley), Rakie Ayola (Hermione Granger), Helen Aluko (Rose Granger-Weasley), Theo Ancient (Albus Potter), Samuel Blenkin (Scorpius Malfoy). Photography by Manuel Harlan.

So, for the second year in a row, the best actress they could find just happens to be black (and her daughter must therefore be black as well). Meanwhile, the best actors for all the other parts just happen to be white – again. Do the production people actually take us for complete idiots?

I do wish Rowling had been honest about her intentions. If she had just said: “Look, I didn’t think about it at the time but I actually regret the lack of diversity in the Trio; it makes more sense to me that at least one of them isn’t white and Hermione is the perfect candidate. It brings balance to the Force to the story and quite frankly, anything that can empower black girls is a good thing”, I’m pretty sure the vast majority of fans would have accepted this and understood her reasoning. Instead she lied through her teeth because she couldn’t bring herself to own her decision.

I have a feeling this is the main reason for the backlash, not racism as she was so keen to proclaim; people know when they’re having the wool pulled over their eyes. Rowling was far, far too defensive about it even to fans who only wanted to calmly explain how they felt (see the tweet above). Her complete refusal to admit that this huge change after all these years (and all these films) suddenly turned everything upside-down and greatly affected how fans related to the character was incredibly off-putting.

I’m sure the official narrative for casting another black actress is “continuity”. Hahaha. Maybe Rachel Dolezal should have played Hermione in the films!

Mar

29

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Is it me?

That weird bust of Cristiano Ronaldo

Feb

11

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Frozen

New IKEA opens in Los Angeles and people queue like their life depends on it

The funny bit:

8:18 a.m. You’re still drinking your first cup of coffee, but hundreds of folks are braving foggy conditions and sub 60-degree temperatures to be the first to experience the new Ikea.

“Sub-60-degree temperatures”… 60°F equals 15°C. Bless their hearts.

Jan

21

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous, The Grauniad strikes again

The age of (gas) enlightenment

Gaslighting has suddenly become the new buzzword and is the topic of a Guardian article. Gaslighting is a particularly insidious form of emotional abuse that typically expresses itself thus:

“I never said that!”
“That never happened!”
“You’re imagining it!”
“It’s all in your head!”
“You’re making things up!”
“You’re going crazy!”

You get the idea. The point is to make you doubt your own senses and question your grasp on reality. It can happen to anyone and can be inflicted by anyone, but of course the Guardian immediately makes the leap to men mind controlling women (or, you know, robots who look like women).

Westworld is excellent, by the way

The article, which does not miss the opportunity to shoehorn Donald Trump in (a prerequisite in every single one of their pieces these days),

For example, if you have to say “not all Mexicans are rapists”, you’ve already lost.

sadly neglects to mention one glaring example of real-life gaslighting a lot of the mainstream media are trying to push on the world: that child rapist Roman Polanski, who has been on the run from the American justice system for forty years, is a poor persecuted victim.

Note the carefully neutral tone of that article, by the same newspaper who could not condemn Trump more strongly for his pussy-grabbing comment and is happily reporting on women’s marches futilely opposing his presidency.

Polanski is suddenly back in the public eye as the President of the upcoming Césars film awards ceremony in France, which means every friend, ally and defender he has among the French Establishment (and that’s pretty much all of them) is out there spouting the official narrative.

The philosopher Alain Finkelkraut is steaming: “She was not a child! She was a teenager who posed naked for Vogue Homme!”

The director Costa-Gavras said last September: “This is no rape, did you see the pictures? She looked 25”.

This video shows what Samantha Geimer, the victim, looked like at the time of he rape. Clue: not 25.

Polanski was also 43 at the time. To a teenager, that’s like being 100 and about as sexually interesting as a piano. Also, who was the responsible adult here?

The infamous photo shoot – three words: dirty old man

She was also plied with alcohol and drugs before being raped and sodomised (see link under picture). I’m not sure why that’s OK, according to Polanski’s little mates, as long as the girl looks old enough. I can’t help but think any man who thinks Polanski did nothing wrong is just a little bit envious that he wasn’t so lucky.

Speaking of lucky, no rapist rapes just once, especially when his highly organised method (bringing booze and drugs to a photo shoot where he was alone with a 13-year-old model) tends to indicate that this was probably not his first attempt. What else has rich, famous and powerful Polanski got away with in his life? I shudder to think.

L’Express, a respectable (or so I thought) French magazine, even says, in an article written by its male deputy editor: “Feminists against Polanski, you are fighting the wrong battle”.

Gaslighting and mansplaining! Lucky us!

Then we have the “Leave him alone, it happened years ago!” brigade. OK then, could we also stop jailing for war crimes men in their nineties who worked in concentration camps but never killed anyone?

No? What do you mean, “that’s different”?

I left the best for last: Meryl Streep the Trump-slayer, who it turns out is also a proud Polanski supporter. But of course.

Everyone in the film industry knows which way their bread is buttered and whose arse to lick, and their shameless display of solidarity shows it all too clearly.

And don’t even get me started on the untouchable (in more ways than one) Woody Allen…

Sep

23

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Good old Pottermore

So I took the Patronus test and it confirmed that I am indeed supremely cool:

patronus

Unlike a certain person who shall remain nameless and got… a rat. Hi, Wormtail!

Speaking of which, I recently saw Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. It was pretty spectacular.

Fans outside the theatre

Fans outside the theatre


Attention to detail

Attention to detail


Before Part 1

Before Part 1


End of Part 1

End of Part 1


Before Part 2

Before Part 2

End of Part 2

End of Part 2


Shop inside the theatre

Shop inside the theatre


It's all over

It’s all over

I will of course keep the secrets
secrets
but suffice to say that Scorpius Malfoy is my new hero. What is it about these Malfoys that they can steal a scene story so easily?

In fact, I think Rowling should consider rewriting the whole series from Draco’s POV:

Draco Malfoy and the Boy Who Lived
Draco Malfoy and the Heir of Slytherin
Draco Malfoy and the Homicidal Hippogriff
Draco Malfoy and the Embarrassing Ferret Moment That His Father Will Hear About
Draco Malfoy and the Inquisitorial Squad
Draco Malfoy and Being The Chosen One For Once
Draco Malfoy and Mummy’s Apron Strings (spoiler: they don’t get cut)

There, isn’t that better?

Malfoy Approval Rating: 100%

Malfoy Approval Rating: 100%

Jun

12

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Row-Row’s at it again…

She’s now insulting her fans! There will be spitting next.

“While the vast majority of people responded positively to the casting decision, Rowling said: “I had a bunch of racists telling me that because Hermione ‘turned white’ – that is, lost colour from her face after a shock – that she must be a white woman, which I have a great deal of difficulty with.”

Yup, black people turn white all the time, after all. Just look at Michael Jackson.

And this is the same woman who, just the other day, was saying this:

JKR1

Having decided that anyone who even questions this is a racist obviously gives her carte blanche to be rude to people:

JKR2

Seriously now. If the best actor auditioning for Harry Potter had turned out to be black or Asian, would they have hired him? Would they?

Not in a million years. But hey, the sidekick is fair game.

I wonder whether she suddenly realised that pretty much everyone who matters in the HP books is white… Harry, Hermione (yes), The Weasleys, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Snape, the Malfoys, Mad-Eye Moody, Sirius Black, Voldemort, Wormtail, Remus Lupin, Tonks, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood… even the Dursleys (but their characters wouldn’t make sense otherwise).

The non-white people only have bit parts. Funny that.

Early illustration of a scene in Philosopher’s Stone done by Rowling herself and published on her website in 2004 :

hp_drawing

Notice how ‘Gary’ (who will become Dean Thomas) is clearly drawn as a black boy and Hermione looks perfectly Caucasian? The woman is in denial.

Jun

11

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

If Titi’s a titty, Ellen’s a twat

Ellen DeGeneres thinks it’s hilarious to publicly humiliate a woman for the sake of a cheap joke.

Titi Pierce has now been called a money-grabber by the media and half of Twitter for daring to sue everyone’s media darling. I really hate it when gay women get away with sexist behaviour that would have straight men in the doghouse faster than you can say Donald Trump.

She has received abusive phone calls and has probably changed her number by now, which can’t be cheap considering it’s her business number. Too right she’s trying to get some money out of Ellen – who has by the way not seen fit to apologise.

I really expected Ellen to have a bit more emotional intelligence, especially as she herself has been called Degenerate by countless moronic homophobes – and she’s a celebrity, not an ordinary member of the public.

So she believes it’s okay to make fun of something that is part of a person’s identity but that they did not choose to have. What could possibly go wrong with that kind of thinking, I wonder?

Hmmm...

Hmmm… wait, don’t tell me…

Jun

8

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Introducing The Ivory Tower Luvvie Bullshit Detector™

And boy, does it get a workout when I’m watching Have I Got News For You.

One thing that regularly happens is that one of the panel members mentions talking to a regular member of the public about the topic currently under discussion. We then invariably find out that the member of the public in question was the driver of their black cab. Because that’s the only time any of them are ever within breathing distance of the great unwashed.

Where your Licence Fee goes.

Where your licence fee goes

This week’s episode offered two gems, both coming from a comedian called Jason Manford (I have to give his name because “the episode with the comedian” doesn’t exactly narrow it down).

First he made a joke about not knowing how to use Series Link. The rest of the panel laughed without needing any more info because in their world, everyone has Sky. As for the rest of us, that’ll teach us to be poor.

What it feels like watching HIGNFY.

What it feels like watching HIGNFY

Then, later in the programme, he mentioned Wetherspoons, immediately adding: “the chain of pubs”. Because none of them has ever set foot in one, of course.

Wetherspoons? Is he a Founding Father of the United States?

Wetherspoons? Is he a Founding Father of the United States?

To hammer the point home, the joke was about how sad and clueless people who go to Wetherspoons are. Blimey, don’t sit on the fence, Jason, tell us how you really feel.

I haven’t felt so insulted for being an ignorant pleb since JK Rowling’s latest tweet/interview (more of that later).

Dec

11

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Things that are said to women but not to men…

Would a man have to worry about this kind of thing happening when getting a Tesco delivery? Of course not.

Will this woman willingly open her door to a delivery driver again? Probably not, at least for a while. Just another life-limiting experience to add to the list.

Men often complain that women can’t take a ‘compliment’, but that’s because women can easily spot the “I would” subtext which instantly turns a remark from something potentially flattering into something off-putting. Men think they’re being subtle but it’s loud and clear (and makes you want to shower with bleach, quite frankly).

And then there are those men who think actually saying “I would” as crudely as they can is a compliment… case in point above.

burqa

Tesco’s gutless response disgusts me too:

Sofia said: ‘Tesco need to do something about it. This is a huge breach of customer privacy, but because it’s an agency driver, they’re saying it’s not their fault.

‘From what I’ve been told, they have dismissed him but he hasn’t been struck off by his agency. It’s like people won’t take responsibility for bad things that happen.

‘Tesco needs to accept responsibility. I have been a customer for five years now getting home deliveries, but they won’t even apologise.’

Agency or not, he is the face of the company from the customer’s POV. Plus, he now has all her details! This is terrifying.

He could now stalk her for years and she’d have to move and change her number to escape him – potentially another life-limiting experience.

But nobody takes stalking seriously (certainly not the police).

All the men in the comments who think sexual harassment is either the woman’s fault – if she’s fit – or no big deal – if she isn’t – terrify me too:

“only bit of banter, shes quite fit anyway”

“Two sides to every story. Maybe she led him on?”

“Creepy experience but the girl is not good looking at all. I feel sorry for the girl but On another note she is now seeking attention by having her pictures published.”

“Men have always been interested in woman, if your not interested send a text saying so or block the number instead of looking for publicity and maybe costing this guy his job. Your damned if you do, your damned if you dont.”

“Dont ask you dont get”

“These delivery drivers work really hard and I reckon she was probably off hand with him.”

“probably led him on to do it so she could get a bit of air time LOL”

“Poor chap, loosing his job! “

What the fuck. HE SENT A MESSAGE TO A COMPLETE STRANGER TELLING HER HE WANTS HER TO SUCK HIS COCK! HELLO?????? ANYBODY HERE????

And men wonder why women can be short with them when they get accosted in public.

Well, does this kind of thing happen to men? Does this?

sexual-harassment-comic-strip

Dec

8

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Lessons will be learned… or something

Here’s a pathetic story of a useless school that let an 11-year-old girl get horribly bullied for two years until the parents finally pulled her out.

Statement from the head:

“We are extremely disappointed that Erica’s parents have chosen to take her out of Unity Academy. Erica has had lots of support and interventions from staff during periods where she and her colleagues have fallen out of friendships with each other.

Most of these emotional issues have been resolved speedily and rebuilt through sitting down in discussion with parents and agreeing strategies for moving on together. It is most unfortunate and very sad that some previously resolved situations have been rekindled and escalated outside of Unity Academy.”

Where do I start?

“Colleagues” = A bunch of 11-year-old kids.

“Fallen out of friendships”, “emotional issues” = bullying. If we use euphemisms, it doesn’t sound so bad.

“Sitting down in discussion with parents” = no consequences for bullies.

“Strategies for moving on together” = meaningless waffle.

“Some previously resolved situations have been rekindled and escalated outside of Unity Academy”= Not Our Fault.

This statement tells us all we need to know about this spineless, moronic, incompetent head and school.

Nov

19

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Letting a book tell you how to live your life…

kuran
bible
tomriddlesdiary""

…is never a good move.

peaceforparis

Oct

16

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Quoted for truth

1
2
3
4
5

Sep

10

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Bear with me for a moment

For no reason at all, I was thinking about this:

dignitas

dignitas_logo

Then of course my mind wandered to this:

soylent_green_euthanasia

soylent_green_death

soylent_green_wafers

soylent_green_scoop

Can you see where this is going?
toblerone

TOBLERONE IS PEOPLE!!!

Feb

14

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Du pain, du vin… du bullshit

France stops entrepreneur from working as much as he wants, as per bloody usual

Seriously, wild horses couldn’t drag me back to that shithole. You just can’t change them.

How DARE you be open!

How DARE you be open!

Jean-Pierre Crouzet, head of the national bakers’ and confectioners’ confederation, said it made sense to uphold the rules to encourage competition by obliging people to buy bread elsewhere at least once a week.

He said: ‘They aren’t to prevent people from working but to ensure a balance, to promote the quality of products.’

Bollocks. Everyone in France has ‘their’ boulangerie that they remain faithful to day after day; this must annoy Monsieur Crouzet who obviously thinks all bakers, even bad ones, are equally entitled to customers’ money. Hence this rule forcing every bakery to close one day a week so customers regularly have to spend their money on bread they would not buy of their own volition. It’s a weekly hostage-taking situation by state-sponsored terrorists.

Only in a terminally socialist country like France could anyone believe this method “encourages competition” and “promotes quality”. Keeping the mediocre in business does nothing of the sort, it just encourages general mediocrity because nobody has anything to lose. It’s like everyone getting a medal just for turning up. I suppose that’s the balance he’s talking about.

Jan

7

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

“Muhammad overwhelmed by fundamentalists” “It’s hard to be loved by morons…”

“Muhammad overwhelmed by fundamentalists”
“It’s hard to be loved by morons…”

France mourns four of its best-known cartoonists

Jan

4

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

What happens in Vegas…

Paedophilia, incest and bestiality. Happy New Year!

Sep

30

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Why can’t people READ?

I’m talking about the idiots who take medication (or give it to their kids!) without bothering to look at the box, let alone read the instructions:

Stupid story 1

It says ALL OVER THE BOX that co-codamol contains paracetamol. She took it for six months without ever noticing!

Stupid story 2

The pharmacist was of course wrong wrong wrong but still. EYE. EAR. TWO DIFFERENT WORDS.

I feel so tired… so tired…

Sep

6

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

For once I don’t solely blame the driver

Speeding motorbike vs.car

Just watch that video. The biker was going at 97mph on a 60 road! He didn’t even see the car until it was too late (and shrieked), no wonder the car didn’t see him either.

Maybe the driver just didn’t look (after all he did lose his licence) but “Think Bike” is neither here nor there in this situation. People just do not have the eyesight of a peregrine falcon and a speeding car would likely have crashed into him too.

I watched the video several times, and even knowing what’s coming I cannot see the car until the very last second – and a car is much bigger than a motorbike. Even without looking, the car would have had plenty of time to turn if the biker had been following the speed limit.

The biker should have slowed down when approaching a junction too, but I suppose that was too much to ask.

And all his mother can say to excuse his behaviour is “He loved speed”?! Please, he was 38, not 18. Come on.

She even says “I just hope that somebody benefits from it, that motorists slow down” and sadly the irony of it just totally passes her by. Also, what happens if motorists love speed too?

Aug

4

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

We own the New York skyline, bitch.

So says the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. Apparently any depiction of said skyline could “evoke thoughts of the Port Authority, the twin towers, W.T.C. and the September 11th terrorist attacks.”

And we really don’t want that to happen, do we, boys and girls? Clearly, all that though-evoking can only be a bad thing. It’s not at all insane to think that way. Nope.

What can I say? I like to live dangerously.

What can I say? I like to live dangerously

Apr

22

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

What bloody language?

Victoria Coren Mitchell, annoying leftie extraordinaire, won a poker tournament on Easter Sunday. She immediately took to Twitter, as you do:

twitter1

Then for some reason she panicked and posted this:

twitter2

“Sorry for that language on Easter Sunday”? What is the nitwit on about? Does she apologise to Muslims and Jews every time she has a bacon sandwich? Unlikely.

So what is the meaning of this random attempt at political correctness? If she cares so much about not antagonising Christians, how about not boasting about gambling on Easter Sunday in the first place! Frankly, mild swearing should be the least of her worries. But that’s the problem with the professionally right on: engaging the brain is usually a last resort.

Also, ‘bloody’ is hardly offensive these days. If Ron Weasley can say it approximately one million times in the Harry Potter series, Victoria probably will not burn in hell just yet.