By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Going to uni? BYO race shoehorn

“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx

Anoushka Mutanda Dougherty has been offered a place at Cambridge University, but she’s mixed-race and from a state school – and only 3% of students who started at Cambridge in 2017 were black, or mixed-race with black heritage.

So? Ten seconds of Googling gets me this:

In 2011, 7.5 million people living in England and Wales (13% of the total population) were born outside the UK. Amongst the 56 million residents in England and Wales, 86% were White, 8% were Asian/Asian British and 3% were Black/African/Caribbean/Black British.

3% at Cambridge, 3% in the general population. I’m not seeing the problem here.

There’s no escaping the fact that Cambridge is a majority white and majority posh (!) institution.

Posh (!) is clearly much worse than just posh.

Born with an exclamation mark in their mouth

My mum, Anjula, is Ugandan and fled from Idi Amin’s tyrannical regime in the 1970s. The story of people like her with a mixed Indian and Ugandan background

So her mother is mixed Indian and black and her father is clearly white. This makes her only one-quarter black at best, yet she says things like “I would be one of only a handful in my year from a mixed white/Black African family” showing she only cares about her black heritage and happily ignores the Indian bit – maybe because it isn’t cool/relevant/woke enough?

The experience of minority communities has helped shape my interest in unwritten histories (you try explaining this in a UCAS statement with a limit of 4,000 characters)

I dunno, she just managed to do it in one paragraph. Also, this kind of whingeing doesnt really look very good from someone who is apparently Cambridge material.

so it stands to reason that I would focus on racial diversity in the universities I’m considering.

Because focusing on academic excellence and reputation is so white.

the fear of being pushed to behave like someone from a specific socio-economic group, just to fit in.

Like what, taking up punting?

Don’t be seen without it.

“I hadn’t gone back before and when I did I was at the train station [in London] and I was like, ‘Why are there so many black people here?’ I was just so used to not seeing them.”

Again, the percentage of black students at Cambridge is representative of England as a whole – London is the anomaly here. If this person lived in, say, the Cotswolds, she wouldn’t bat an eyelid when getting off the train (and might even think “How hideously white!”).

there was just one club that played R&B, and that it charged £12 entry – more than any other student venue she’d been to! Talk about having a monopoly on the market.

It is highly likely that the managers of this club are black. Why are they choosing to exploit their own people? And how is this anybody else’s fault?

“I have never, like, self-segregated but I did go to a Hip-Hop Society event and I’d just never seen so many black people in one room at one time in Cambridge! I was like, ‘Wow, this is where we all are’.”

Meanwhile, Sanjeev is at the library and Quentin is punting. How rude of them!

“I just thought the people at Cambridge wouldn’t be the people in my crowd,” he said. “I don’t want to be with so many white kids from private schools.”

And if a white student from a private school said they didn’t want to go to university with a bunch of black kids from state schools, I’m sure everyone would react very well to this announcement.

(I have to give a special mention here to my white friend who, for the first three years that we knew each other, thought that I curled my hair every morning.)

And this is supposed to be proof of what exactly? That this white friend is racist and ignorant? Countless other girls of all skin colours own a hair curler and do use it every morning, why couldn’t you be one of them? Only a frenemy would choose to take it the wrong way.

It is also perfectly normal not to be aware of what personal grooming involves for people of other ethnicities. I once had a black woman – a professional hairdresser, no less – advise me to stop dyeing my hair as it would eventually get damaged (needless to say, I have never dyed my hair in my life). Did I immediately scream racism? Answers on a postcard.

Just like Kier, who wants to study with people in his crowd, my girlfriends said they wanted to share university accommodation with students who “look like them”.

I mean, the things non-white people can get away with saying!

I asked her about the racial imbalance and the relatively high number of students from private schools… wouldn’t she want her son to be somewhere that more reflected the real world?

“That’s a good question. I mean I think I’d like him to go just wherever he’ll do really well and enjoy it but I must admit, I’m probably not choosing or thinking about where he should go from that basis,” she said. “You know, I just want him to go where he’ll get the best degree for what he wants to do.”

Oh dear, someone didn’t get the right-on memo. “The best degree for what he wants to do”? Who thinks like that?! I bet she votes Tory!

The horror… the horror…

Did I decide to wear a pink fur coat that made me look like a relic of an early-2000’s 50 Cent video? Yes. Did I question this after taking my admission test with a room of prospective law students, who were all suited and booted and ready for employment in the City? Yes.

Were you determined to make the situation as awkward for yourself as possible, just to prove some sort of a point? Yes.

I took some of my concerns about racial diversity – or the lack of it – to the press officer at Cambridge University, Paul Seagrove. He said that 58 black students got places in 2017, which was higher than the figure of 39 for 2016.

“We recognise that it is still too low,” he said.

Oh please. As per this very article, there are more white students at Bristol than at Cambridge. Where is the outrage?

It seems that there is a self-perpetuating cycle. Smart kids from diverse backgrounds won’t apply because they think they won’t fit in, because they don’t see people like them. This in turn means that the demographic of students will never change, so the view that it’s not the right place for people of colour will persist.

Yeah, it’s pretty clear everyone who’s complaining also wants somebody else to be the guinea pig.

I think this girl needs a little reminder of what she could learn from her other ethnic heritage:

Yes, I know he didn’t actually say that.



By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Aaand it’s time for another RRR (Rowling-related rant)…

Now we find out that Nagini used to be a woman

OK, at this point I do believe old JK should be forcibly relocated to a room on a remote Scottish island, far away from all computers, telephones, telegraph systems, carrier pigeons, post owls and all other means of communication with the outside world.

Dementor’s Kiss optional

Her retcons are getting more and more ridiculous. Not only is it now supposed to be canon – thanks to Cursed Child – that Hermione is black and that Voldemort had a child with Bellatrix (which is impossible for several reasons, but that’s another rant), his giant snake also turns out to be a woman under a curse!

Give me strength. How many more things is she going to ruin? Is the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets going to be in a unisex bathroom in future editions? Is Professor Flitwick going to come out as transgender? Will the Dursleys move to America and become Trump supporters?

A brave soul did try to take her to task:

“Representation as an afterthought for more woke points is not good representation”: now here’s a sentence that would have been totally incomprehensible ten years ago, by the way.

Rowling’s reply was as arrogant as ever:

“Have a lovely day”?! Could she possibly be more dismissive and passive-aggressive?

She’s also missing the point. Why cast a Korean woman to play an Indonesian character? Even in these ‘woke’ PC times, being yellow and slitty-eyed appears to be enough to play any character from any region of Asia. So much for representation!

Right. Let’s take a minute to remember that in the HP books, Voldemort regularly orders Nagini to kill and/or eat people and she happily complies. What exactly is her motivation if she’s not evil?

Uh-huh. If I believe that I’ll believe anything. If she really had planned to eventually unveil Nagini as a human being back then, it would have meant turning poor Neville into a murderer and ruining his heroic moment!

I call bullshit on an epic scale. She must really think HP fans are stupid or is too arrogant to care. Or both.

This is sad though. I was really disappointed by the first Fantastic Beasts film (pandering to Americans, uninteresting story, charisma-free protagonist, far too much filler and the only interesting character was the Muggle), then they cast Johnny Depp (who has become a caricature of himself, on top of the domestic violence incident) in the second one and now this. Cursed Child was a spectacular show ruined by a silly storyline and almost everyone behaving out of character. And they destroyed Pottermore!

I’ll stick to the books (and, to a lesser degree, the HP films) but this is where I check out of the franchise.



By nightowl

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I was defeated, you won the war

Every time I read about the Swedish government’s outrage at the latest antisocial or criminal act committed by immigrants, their reaction reminds me of a toddler who is learning for the first time that life isn’t fair.

“I am really furious, what the hell are they up to?” Stefan Löfven told Swedish radio on Tuesday morning.

Aww bless him, he’s really furious. Stamping his little foot and everything.

The Prime Minister of Sweden sounds like a sad and disappointed social worker who has just been just told the underprivileged teenager they’re looking after was caught buying drugs. With people like that in charge, Sweden is truly fucked. It’s like they genuinely cannot comprehend the concept of not being a nice person. Why wouldn’t someone want to be a nice person? Why don’t immigrants want to be like us? Can’t they just see it’s the best way to be? This seems to be a complete mystery to most Swedes.

This mindset is very well explained by Kjell Andersson (a Swede) on Quora:

“We have been taught that Sweden is the best.

When I was in school, in the 20th century, it was a constant message in school books and in media. We were taught that Sweden was a precursor for hunanity. A road model. By being so good we set an example for the rest of the world.

The ideology of Swedish supremacism was based on Hegels Dialectics: Progress occurs when history has created a thesis, like capitalism. This will create an opposition that create an antithesis, like communism. Conflict will follow until a synthesis, like Sweden, is created. The synthesis will combine the best of the two and be superior to both. The synthesis will then become the new thesis and history continues. Everything can only get better.

Note that Swedish supremacists do not legitimize their claims by history but by what will happen in the future. The result was a strong nationalism that claimed not to be nationalism. Contrary! All of humanity would become Swedish. It was the irresistible force of history. It was progress. Swedish chauvinism was not chauvinism but international solidarity.

This mentality is still alive. People in, for example, Afghanistan are not Swedish. Their culture is not Swedish but they are supposed to be longing to become Swedish. This is natural.

Example: No man really can be against gender equality because no man can wish that his old mother will be locked up in a small house when she could be free to move wherever she please.

A lot of Swedes believe that people with a very un Swedish attitude, like an Afghan taliban has an inner Swede who is longing to get out. Just give them a chance and they will show themselves as good Swedes. If you do not agree to this idea: You are a racist.

The chain of evidence is like this:

Development always means progress
Sweden is the most developed nation in the world.
Sweden is the best
Everyone wants improvement
Everyone wants to be like us
Claiming that there are people who do not want to be Swedish means claiming that there are people who do not want to improve
Claiming that some people do not want to improve means claiming that some people are bad.
Claiming that some people are bad is racism.”

Miranda was wrong. So is Sweden.



By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

When is cultural appropriation not cultural appropriation?

When nobody involved is white, that’s when.

First we had this ridiculous story: White star pulls out of West Side Story concert following race row

A white actress playing Maria, a Puerto Rican, is apparently unacceptable. She was told “This is not your story to tell” by some SJW on Twitter (why people care so much about Twitter is beyond me). The massive guilt trip has caused her to resign and make an apologetic statement about being “miscast”.

She played the same part three years ago and nobody batted an eyelid!

Meanwhile, it has recently been announced that Beverley Knight will play Emmeline Pankhurst in the West End.

Outrage? No. Twitter shitstorm? Nope. Not her story to tell? You must be joking, black women are always relevant.

And then we have a Dutch-Korean actress playing a Thai woman in The King And I. Still not a peep. By the way, the king of Siam himself is played by a Japanese actor! And said Dutch-Korean actress played Fantine (a white 19th century Frenchwoman) in Les Misérables in 2014. Somehow, by an absolute miracle, that was totally her story to tell. Huh.



By nightowl

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Harry Potter and the Transphobic Tweet

JK Rowling finally loses her impeccable PC credentials

This is hilarious. These people can turn on each other faster than sharks! And of course rent-a-gob Jack “non-binary” Monroe just had to get involved.

I bet Rowling just saw the feminist message and automatically ‘liked’ the post without reading it too carefully. What’s even funnier it that everyone is attacking her as if she had written the whole thing, not just retweeted it. I don’t suppose a pack of hyenas can read too well either.

Men in dresses indeed.

A spokesman for Ms Rowling said she had ‘liked’ the tweet by accident, telling The Mail on Sunday: ‘It was a mistake. I’m afraid J.K. Rowling had a clumsy middle-aged moment.

‘This is not the first time she has favourited [a post] by holding her phone incorrectly.’

Oh, this is lame. I knew she was quite the coward as well as a hypocrite but this is truly lame. When you are the kind of person who loves attacking in an extremely self-righteous and vitriolic way anyone who disagrees with you, you really should be able to cope with being on the receiving end instead of hiding behind your minions. The next time Rowling has a go at Donald Trump for tweeting something stupid and/or offensive, I hope someone reminds her of this little incident.

In the furore, the message of the tweet – that trans rights matter more than womens’s rights – has been totally forgotten, thus beautifully proving the point of the original poster.



By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

In the UK, customer service is… different

Class shaming on Virgin Trains

That’s one hell of a manager. I’ve always thought people in the service industry would find it so much easier to do their work if only the general public didn’t exist.

This story reminds me of the time I was told off by a Post Office employee for attempting to post a large parcel after 4.30pm (closing time is 5.30pm, I was there around 5). He explained that the van collects all parcels at 4.30pm and any parcel that arrives after this time is left lying on the office floor until the next day, which inconveniences the staff. His tone made it very clear that I was really making his day worse by adding to the pile, even though I had no way under the sun to know this kind of information. It’s not like there were posters on the wall or anything.

I was seriously taken aback by this unprovoked attack but, unlike the average Brit, did not actually apologise for being such a thoughtless paying customer. Even after 24 years in this country, I have my limits.



By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

French Banks vs. The World

I am trying to get my French bank to update my address in my online profile.

I sent them a bill as proof of address:

(name, house number and street name obscured for privacy)

They did make the change, in a manner of speaking:

(name obscured for privacy)

As you can see, they left out the house number, street name and postcode. Plus a misspelling in the town name. Who cares whether I receive their letters or not? Serves me right for living abroad in the first place!

The French antipathy for anything English is not a myth… they can be seriously passive-aggressive about it too.

Incidentally, this is the same bank that did not allow me to make a deposit (not a withdrawal) from a random branch in Normandy a couple of years ago, because my branch is in Picardy. Apparently this bank, despite having a national presence, is run on a strictly regional basis.

I did tell the employee: “Are you aware this is the 21st century?” and got a superb Gallic shrug in return.

And people wonder why I would rather die than go back.

Update 22.02.2018: Since posting this, I have emailed them twice. No reply whatsoever. Stay classy, Caisse D’Epargne.



By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Do you hear the people sigh?

Today is the 155th anniversary of the publication of Les Misérables, my favourite French novel ever. Champagne!

Looks like ladettes are a thing in France too

Now, it’s nice of the Independent to write a little article about Victor Hugo but a bit of research and accuracy would have helped.

Born in 1802, three-years after Napoleon seized power, he was already famous as a poet, artist and novelist by the time he was 30 and he had had time to study law.

A fierce critic of Napoleon, Hugo fled France after the 1851 coup d’etat that brought Bonaparte to power.

Is it me or do they make it sound like it’s the same Napoléon seizing power twice within a fifty-year period? Is the Independent even aware there were two? (well, technically three).

The one in the second quote is of course Louis-Napoléon Bonaparte, Napoléon I’s nephew who became the second Emperor of the French. The first Napoléon was long dead by then.

They both liked their horsey rides though

After spells in Belgium and Jersey he settled in the smaller Channel Island of Guernsey, where the writer would live for the next 15 years.

It proved to be one of the most productive periods of his life, as Hugo penned his two most celebrated volumes of poetry and most of Les Miserables – which he began in the 1845 but did not complete until 1862.

It means arguably the most famous work of French literature was actually written in Britain.

Guernsey is not part of Britain, in fact it’s not even in the UK. It’s a Crown Dependency.

[Albanian accent] Good luck.[/Albanian accent]

I suppose I should count my blessings: at least the article doesn’t say Les Mis is set during the French Revolution (yes, I have read this. More than once).



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Gotta love champagne socialists

I am very amused by this picture in Le Parisien of distraught Mélenchon voters, one of whom is carrying a Hédiard carrier bag (famous Parisian luxury food store, a bit like Fortnum & Mason’s).

Shopping therapy is a thing



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Categories: Miscellaneous

Hermione is the new black

Here is the indeniable proof that all that guff about black Hermione in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was in fact a large quantity of agenda-driven bullshit.



A cast change has just been announced. Behold the new Hermione Granger, Rakie Ayola:

Back Row (left to right) James Howard (Draco Malfoy), Emma Lowndes (Ginny Potter), Jamie Glover (Harry Potter).
Front Row (left to right) Thomas Aldridge (Ron Weasley), Rakie Ayola (Hermione Granger), Helen Aluko (Rose Granger-Weasley), Theo Ancient (Albus Potter), Samuel Blenkin (Scorpius Malfoy). Photography by Manuel Harlan.

So, for the second year in a row, the best actress they could find just happens to be black (and her daughter must therefore be black as well). Meanwhile, the best actors for all the other parts just happen to be white – again. Do the production people actually take us for complete idiots?

I do wish Rowling had been honest about her intentions. If she had just said: “Look, I didn’t think about it at the time but I actually regret the lack of diversity in the Trio; it makes more sense to me that at least one of them isn’t white and Hermione is the perfect candidate. It brings balance to the Force to the story and quite frankly, anything that can empower black girls is a good thing”, I’m pretty sure the vast majority of fans would have accepted this and understood her reasoning. Instead she lied through her teeth because she couldn’t bring herself to own her decision.

I have a feeling this is the main reason for the backlash, not racism as she was so keen to proclaim; people know when they’re having the wool pulled over their eyes. Rowling was far, far too defensive about it even to fans who only wanted to calmly explain how they felt (see the tweet above). Her complete refusal to admit that this huge change after all these years (and all these films) suddenly turned everything upside-down and greatly affected how fans related to the character was incredibly off-putting.

I’m sure the official narrative for casting another black actress is “continuity”. Hahaha. Maybe Rachel Dolezal should have played Hermione in the films!



By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Is it me?

That weird bust of Cristiano Ronaldo



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Categories: Miscellaneous


New IKEA opens in Los Angeles and people queue like their life depends on it

The funny bit:

8:18 a.m. You’re still drinking your first cup of coffee, but hundreds of folks are braving foggy conditions and sub 60-degree temperatures to be the first to experience the new Ikea.

“Sub-60-degree temperatures”… 60°F equals 15°C. Bless their hearts.



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Categories: Miscellaneous, The Grauniad strikes again

The age of (gas) enlightenment

Gaslighting has suddenly become the new buzzword and is the topic of a Guardian article. Gaslighting is a particularly insidious form of emotional abuse that typically expresses itself thus:

“I never said that!”
“That never happened!”
“You’re imagining it!”
“It’s all in your head!”
“You’re making things up!”
“You’re going crazy!”

You get the idea. The point is to make you doubt your own senses and question your grasp on reality. It can happen to anyone and can be inflicted by anyone, but of course the Guardian immediately makes the leap to men mind controlling women (or, you know, robots who look like women).

Westworld is excellent, by the way

The article, which does not miss the opportunity to shoehorn Donald Trump in (a prerequisite in every single one of their pieces these days),

For example, if you have to say “not all Mexicans are rapists”, you’ve already lost.

sadly neglects to mention one glaring example of real-life gaslighting a lot of the mainstream media are trying to push on the world: that child rapist Roman Polanski, who has been on the run from the American justice system for forty years, is a poor persecuted victim.

Note the carefully neutral tone of that article, by the same newspaper who could not condemn Trump more strongly for his pussy-grabbing comment and is happily reporting on women’s marches futilely opposing his presidency.

Polanski is suddenly back in the public eye as the President of the upcoming Césars film awards ceremony in France, which means every friend, ally and defender he has among the French Establishment (and that’s pretty much all of them) is out there spouting the official narrative.

The philosopher Alain Finkelkraut is steaming: “She was not a child! She was a teenager who posed naked for Vogue Homme!”

The director Costa-Gavras said last September: “This is no rape, did you see the pictures? She looked 25”.

This video shows what Samantha Geimer, the victim, looked like at the time of he rape. Clue: not 25.

Polanski was also 43 at the time. To a teenager, that’s like being 100 and about as sexually interesting as a piano. Also, who was the responsible adult here?

The infamous photo shoot – three words: dirty old man

She was also plied with alcohol and drugs before being raped and sodomised (see link under picture). I’m not sure why that’s OK, according to Polanski’s little mates, as long as the girl looks old enough. I can’t help but think any man who thinks Polanski did nothing wrong is just a little bit envious that he wasn’t so lucky.

Speaking of lucky, no rapist rapes just once, especially when his highly organised method (bringing booze and drugs to a photo shoot where he was alone with a 13-year-old model) tends to indicate that this was probably not his first attempt. What else has rich, famous and powerful Polanski got away with in his life? I shudder to think.

L’Express, a respectable (or so I thought) French magazine, even says, in an article written by its male deputy editor: “Feminists against Polanski, you are fighting the wrong battle”.

Gaslighting and mansplaining! Lucky us!

Then we have the “Leave him alone, it happened years ago!” brigade. OK then, could we also stop jailing for war crimes men in their nineties who worked in concentration camps but never killed anyone?

No? What do you mean, “that’s different”?

I left the best for last: Meryl Streep the Trump-slayer, who it turns out is also a proud Polanski supporter. But of course.

Everyone in the film industry knows which way their bread is buttered and whose arse to lick, and their shameless display of solidarity shows it all too clearly.

And don’t even get me started on the untouchable (in more ways than one) Woody Allen…



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Categories: Miscellaneous

Good old Pottermore

So I took the Patronus test and it confirmed that I am indeed supremely cool:


Unlike a certain person who shall remain nameless and got… a rat. Hi, Wormtail!

Speaking of which, I recently saw Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. It was pretty spectacular.

Fans outside the theatre

Fans outside the theatre

Attention to detail

Attention to detail

Before Part 1

Before Part 1

End of Part 1

End of Part 1

Before Part 2

Before Part 2

End of Part 2

End of Part 2

Shop inside the theatre

Shop inside the theatre

It's all over

It’s all over

I will of course keep the secrets
but suffice to say that Scorpius Malfoy is my new hero. What is it about these Malfoys that they can steal a scene story so easily?

In fact, I think Rowling should consider rewriting the whole series from Draco’s POV:

Draco Malfoy and the Boy Who Lived
Draco Malfoy and the Heir of Slytherin
Draco Malfoy and the Homicidal Hippogriff
Draco Malfoy and the Embarrassing Ferret Moment That His Father Will Hear About
Draco Malfoy and the Inquisitorial Squad
Draco Malfoy and Being The Chosen One For Once
Draco Malfoy and Mummy’s Apron Strings (spoiler: they don’t get cut)

There, isn’t that better?

Malfoy Approval Rating: 100%

Malfoy Approval Rating: 100%



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Categories: Miscellaneous

Row-Row’s at it again…

She’s now insulting her fans! There will be spitting next.

“While the vast majority of people responded positively to the casting decision, Rowling said: “I had a bunch of racists telling me that because Hermione ‘turned white’ – that is, lost colour from her face after a shock – that she must be a white woman, which I have a great deal of difficulty with.”

Yup, black people turn white all the time, after all. Just look at Michael Jackson.

And this is the same woman who, just the other day, was saying this:


Having decided that anyone who even questions this is a racist obviously gives her carte blanche to be rude to people:


Seriously now. If the best actor auditioning for Harry Potter had turned out to be black or Asian, would they have hired him? Would they?

Not in a million years. But hey, the sidekick is fair game.

I wonder whether she suddenly realised that pretty much everyone who matters in the HP books is white… Harry, Hermione (yes), The Weasleys, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Snape, the Malfoys, Mad-Eye Moody, Sirius Black, Voldemort, Wormtail, Remus Lupin, Tonks, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood… even the Dursleys (but their characters wouldn’t make sense otherwise).

The non-white people only have bit parts. Funny that.

Early illustration of a scene in Philosopher’s Stone done by Rowling herself and published on her website in 2004 :


Notice how ‘Gary’ (who will become Dean Thomas) is clearly drawn as a black boy and Hermione looks perfectly Caucasian? The woman is in denial.



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If Titi’s a titty, Ellen’s a twat

Ellen DeGeneres thinks it’s hilarious to publicly humiliate a woman for the sake of a cheap joke.

Titi Pierce has now been called a money-grabber by the media and half of Twitter for daring to sue everyone’s media darling. I really hate it when gay women get away with sexist behaviour that would have straight men in the doghouse faster than you can say Donald Trump.

She has received abusive phone calls and has probably changed her number by now, which can’t be cheap considering it’s her business number. Too right she’s trying to get some money out of Ellen – who has by the way not seen fit to apologise.

I really expected Ellen to have a bit more emotional intelligence, especially as she herself has been called Degenerate by countless moronic homophobes – and she’s a celebrity, not an ordinary member of the public.

So she believes it’s okay to make fun of something that is part of a person’s identity but that they did not choose to have. What could possibly go wrong with that kind of thinking, I wonder?


Hmmm… wait, don’t tell me…



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Categories: Miscellaneous

Introducing The Ivory Tower Luvvie Bullshit Detector™

And boy, does it get a workout when I’m watching Have I Got News For You.

One thing that regularly happens is that one of the panel members mentions talking to a regular member of the public about the topic currently under discussion. We then invariably find out that the member of the public in question was the driver of their black cab. Because that’s the only time any of them are ever within breathing distance of the great unwashed.

Where your Licence Fee goes.

Where your licence fee goes

This week’s episode offered two gems, both coming from a comedian called Jason Manford (I have to give his name because “the episode with the comedian” doesn’t exactly narrow it down).

First he made a joke about not knowing how to use Series Link. The rest of the panel laughed without needing any more info because in their world, everyone has Sky. As for the rest of us, that’ll teach us to be poor.

What it feels like watching HIGNFY.

What it feels like watching HIGNFY

Then, later in the programme, he mentioned Wetherspoons, immediately adding: “the chain of pubs”. Because none of them has ever set foot in one, of course.

Wetherspoons? Is he a Founding Father of the United States?

Wetherspoons? Is he a Founding Father of the United States?

To hammer the point home, the joke was about how sad and clueless people who go to Wetherspoons are. Blimey, don’t sit on the fence, Jason, tell us how you really feel.

I haven’t felt so insulted for being an ignorant pleb since JK Rowling’s latest tweet/interview (more of that later).



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Categories: Miscellaneous

Things that are said to women but not to men…

Would a man have to worry about this kind of thing happening when getting a Tesco delivery? Of course not.

Will this woman willingly open her door to a delivery driver again? Probably not, at least for a while. Just another life-limiting experience to add to the list.

Men often complain that women can’t take a ‘compliment’, but that’s because women can easily spot the “I would” subtext which instantly turns a remark from something potentially flattering into something off-putting. Men think they’re being subtle but it’s loud and clear (and makes you want to shower with bleach, quite frankly).

And then there are those men who think actually saying “I would” as crudely as they can is a compliment… case in point above.


Tesco’s gutless response disgusts me too:

Sofia said: ‘Tesco need to do something about it. This is a huge breach of customer privacy, but because it’s an agency driver, they’re saying it’s not their fault.

‘From what I’ve been told, they have dismissed him but he hasn’t been struck off by his agency. It’s like people won’t take responsibility for bad things that happen.

‘Tesco needs to accept responsibility. I have been a customer for five years now getting home deliveries, but they won’t even apologise.’

Agency or not, he is the face of the company from the customer’s POV. Plus, he now has all her details! This is terrifying.

He could now stalk her for years and she’d have to move and change her number to escape him – potentially another life-limiting experience.

But nobody takes stalking seriously (certainly not the police).

All the men in the comments who think sexual harassment is either the woman’s fault – if she’s fit – or no big deal – if she isn’t – terrify me too:

“only bit of banter, shes quite fit anyway”

“Two sides to every story. Maybe she led him on?”

“Creepy experience but the girl is not good looking at all. I feel sorry for the girl but On another note she is now seeking attention by having her pictures published.”

“Men have always been interested in woman, if your not interested send a text saying so or block the number instead of looking for publicity and maybe costing this guy his job. Your damned if you do, your damned if you dont.”

“Dont ask you dont get”

“These delivery drivers work really hard and I reckon she was probably off hand with him.”

“probably led him on to do it so she could get a bit of air time LOL”

“Poor chap, loosing his job! “


And men wonder why women can be short with them when they get accosted in public.

Well, does this kind of thing happen to men? Does this?




By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Lessons will be learned… or something

Here’s a pathetic story of a useless school that let an 11-year-old girl get horribly bullied for two years until the parents finally pulled her out.

Statement from the head:

“We are extremely disappointed that Erica’s parents have chosen to take her out of Unity Academy. Erica has had lots of support and interventions from staff during periods where she and her colleagues have fallen out of friendships with each other.

Most of these emotional issues have been resolved speedily and rebuilt through sitting down in discussion with parents and agreeing strategies for moving on together. It is most unfortunate and very sad that some previously resolved situations have been rekindled and escalated outside of Unity Academy.”

Where do I start?

“Colleagues” = A bunch of 11-year-old kids.

“Fallen out of friendships”, “emotional issues” = bullying. If we use euphemisms, it doesn’t sound so bad.

“Sitting down in discussion with parents” = no consequences for bullies.

“Strategies for moving on together” = meaningless waffle.

“Some previously resolved situations have been rekindled and escalated outside of Unity Academy”= Not Our Fault.

This statement tells us all we need to know about this spineless, moronic, incompetent head and school.



By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Letting a book tell you how to live your life…


…is never a good move.




By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Quoted for truth




By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Bear with me for a moment

For no reason at all, I was thinking about this:



Then of course my mind wandered to this:





Can you see where this is going?




By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

Du pain, du vin… du bullshit

France stops entrepreneur from working as much as he wants, as per bloody usual

Seriously, wild horses couldn’t drag me back to that shithole. You just can’t change them.

How DARE you be open!

How DARE you be open!

Jean-Pierre Crouzet, head of the national bakers’ and confectioners’ confederation, said it made sense to uphold the rules to encourage competition by obliging people to buy bread elsewhere at least once a week.

He said: ‘They aren’t to prevent people from working but to ensure a balance, to promote the quality of products.’

Bollocks. Everyone in France has ‘their’ boulangerie that they remain faithful to day after day; this must annoy Monsieur Crouzet who obviously thinks all bakers, even bad ones, are equally entitled to customers’ money. Hence this rule forcing every bakery to close one day a week so customers regularly have to spend their money on bread they would not buy of their own volition. It’s a weekly hostage-taking situation by state-sponsored terrorists.

Only in a terminally socialist country like France could anyone believe this method “encourages competition” and “promotes quality”. Keeping the mediocre in business does nothing of the sort, it just encourages general mediocrity because nobody has anything to lose. It’s like everyone getting a medal just for turning up. I suppose that’s the balance he’s talking about.



By nightowl

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“Muhammad overwhelmed by fundamentalists” “It’s hard to be loved by morons…”

“Muhammad overwhelmed by fundamentalists”
“It’s hard to be loved by morons…”

France mourns four of its best-known cartoonists



By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

What happens in Vegas…

Paedophilia, incest and bestiality. Happy New Year!