Jan

21

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous, The Grauniad strikes again

The age of (gas) enlightenment

Gaslighting has suddenly become the new buzzword and is the topic of a Guardian article. Gaslighting is a particularly insidious form of emotional abuse that typically expresses itself thus:

“I never said that!”
“That never happened!”
“You’re imagining it!”
“It’s all in your head!”
“You’re making things up!”
“You’re going crazy!”

You get the idea. The point is to make you doubt your own senses and question your grasp on reality. It can happen to anyone and can be inflicted by anyone, but of course the Guardian immediately makes the leap to men mind controlling women (or, you know, robots who look like women).

Westworld is excellent, by the way

The article, which does not miss the opportunity to shoehorn Donald Trump in (a prerequisite in every single one of their pieces these days),

For example, if you have to say “not all Mexicans are rapists”, you’ve already lost.

sadly neglects to mention one glaring example of real-life gaslighting a lot of the mainstream media are trying to push on the world: that child rapist Roman Polanski, who has been on the run from the American justice system for forty years, is a poor persecuted victim.

Note the carefully neutral tone of that article, by the same newspaper who could not condemn Trump more strongly for his pussy-grabbing comment and is happily reporting on women’s marches futilely opposing his presidency.

Polanski is suddenly back in the public eye as the President of the upcoming Césars film awards ceremony in France, which means every friend, ally and defender he has among the French Establishment (and that’s pretty much all of them) is out there spouting the official narrative.

The philosopher Alain Finkelkraut is steaming: “She was not a child! She was a teenager who posed naked for Vogue Homme!”

The director Costa-Gavras said last September: “This is no rape, did you see the pictures? She looked 25”.

This video shows what Samantha Geimer, the victim, looked like at the time of he rape. Clue: not 25.

Polanski was also 43 at the time. To a teenager, that’s like being 100 and about as sexually interesting as a piano. Also, who was the responsible adult here?

The infamous photo shoot – three words: dirty old man

She was also plied with alcohol and drugs before being raped and sodomised (see link under picture). I’m not sure why that’s OK, according to Polanski’s little mates, as long as the girl looks old enough. I can’t help but think any man who thinks Polanski did nothing wrong is just a little bit envious that he wasn’t so lucky.

Speaking of lucky, no rapist rapes just once, especially when his highly organised method (bringing booze and drugs to a photo shoot where he was alone with a 13-year-old model) tends to indicate that this was probably not his first attempt. What else has rich, famous and powerful Polanski got away with in his life? I shudder to think.

L’Express, a respectable (or so I thought) French magazine, even says, in an article written by its male deputy editor: “Feminists against Polanski, you are fighting the wrong battle”.

Gaslighting and mansplaining! Lucky us!

Then we have the “Leave him alone, it happened years ago!” brigade. OK then, could we also stop jailing for war crimes men in their nineties who worked in concentration camps but never killed anyone?

No? What do you mean, “that’s different”?

I left the best for last: Meryl Streep the Trump-slayer, who it turns out is also a proud Polanski supporter. But of course.

Everyone in the film industry knows which way their bread is buttered and whose arse to lick, and their shameless display of solidarity shows it all too clearly.

And don’t even get me started on the untouchable (in more ways than one) Woody Allen…

Sep

26

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: The Grauniad strikes again

Better at guilt than Catholics

Guardian journalist has psychological meltdown after buying his first house

As is often the case with Guardian articles, I had to read it twice to make extra sure it wasn’t a spoof. Making an important financial decision without engaging your brain is one thing, but why on earth would you then tell the world about it? Is this some sort of deranged humblebrag?

Now, if you'd bought this one I'd understand

Now, if you’d bought this one I’d understand

There is something deeply wrong with this man’s thinking process (if I can call it that):

Ten minutes. It took 10 minutes to decide that this house was good enough to make me want to spend the rest of my life in debt to a bank.

Consider the possibility that you should perhaps not be allowed out unsupervised.

It isn’t even my house. It belongs to a bank, and I’m going to spend the next three decades buying it back from them half a per cent at a time.

Did you genuinely not realise this beforehand?

I’m a freelance journalist in the year 2016, so, realistically, I only have four months left before work dries up and I’m replaced by a Facebook Live video of a toddler balancing on a log.

And yet, the “belonging to a bank” bit still did not resonate with you?

repossession-cartoon

If the oven explodes or the fridge goes kaput or sludge starts seeping out of the plugholes, you just call your landlord and someone will come and fix it for free. Now, though, that’s on me.

No way! How is this kind of very important information not made public? We are kept in the dark, it’s outrageous!

And there’s a fishpond, too. An entire fishpond that I didn’t clock during my sole cursory glance about the place, that seems to have been put there specifically to endanger my child. I mean, Jesus Christ. I’m an idiot. That’s the only explanation for this.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

Worst of all, buying a house makes me feel like a traitor. It feels as though I’ve let down all my generation-rent friends, as if someone drew a line in the sand and I deliberately chose the side of Kirstie Allsop. I feel as if I have become part of the 1%, and I should ride about inside my boxy, broken-down new home on a pony like the shrieking Fauntleroy I apparently am.

Could you please stop with the self-flagellation? If you’re feeling so guilty, why not donate the house to one of your “generation-rent friends”? I’m sure they, unlike you, will be very happy and sleep soundly at night.

House prices increased much faster than my ability to sensibly save for a deposit. Getting it together was like trying to chase a moving train. But now I have caught up with it, and jumped on board, and discovered that all the other passengers are nitwits. This cannot possibly end well.

No no no, you are in fact the only nitwit here. I assure you the rest of us do know what we’re doing, so kindly do not insult us. If grown-up life is too much for you, I suggest you move into sheltered housing for vulnerable adults. Sell that house and you can easily afford it.

Is it safe?

Ahhh, that’s more like it

Sep

23

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Good old Pottermore

So I took the Patronus test and it confirmed that I am indeed supremely cool:

patronus

Unlike a certain person who shall remain nameless and got… a rat. Hi, Wormtail!

Speaking of which, I recently saw Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. It was pretty spectacular.

Fans outside the theatre

Fans outside the theatre


Attention to detail

Attention to detail


Before Part 1

Before Part 1


End of Part 1

End of Part 1


Before Part 2

Before Part 2

End of Part 2

End of Part 2


Shop inside the theatre

Shop inside the theatre


It's all over

It’s all over

I will of course keep the secrets
secrets
but suffice to say that Scorpius Malfoy is my new hero. What is it about these Malfoys that they can steal a scene story so easily?

In fact, I think Rowling should consider rewriting the whole series from Draco’s POV:

Draco Malfoy and the Boy Who Lived
Draco Malfoy and the Heir of Slytherin
Draco Malfoy and the Homicidal Hippogriff
Draco Malfoy and the Embarrassing Ferret Moment That His Father Will Hear About
Draco Malfoy and the Inquisitorial Squad
Draco Malfoy and Being The Chosen One For Once
Draco Malfoy and Mummy’s Apron Strings (spoiler: they don’t get cut)

There, isn’t that better?

Malfoy Approval Rating: 100%

Malfoy Approval Rating: 100%

Jun

27

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: WTF

Not fair

Inbreeding, anywhere in the world

Inbreeding, anywhere in the world

Inbreeding in Iceland

Inbreeding in Iceland

Jun

12

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Row-Row’s at it again…

She’s now insulting her fans! There will be spitting next.

“While the vast majority of people responded positively to the casting decision, Rowling said: “I had a bunch of racists telling me that because Hermione ‘turned white’ – that is, lost colour from her face after a shock – that she must be a white woman, which I have a great deal of difficulty with.”

Yup, black people turn white all the time, after all. Just look at Michael Jackson.

And this is the same woman who, just the other day, was saying this:

JKR1

Having decided that anyone who even questions this is a racist obviously gives her carte blanche to be rude to people:

JKR2

Seriously now. If the best actor auditioning for Harry Potter had turned out to be black or Asian, would they have hired him? Would they?

Not in a million years. But hey, the sidekick is fair game.

I wonder whether she suddenly realised that pretty much everyone who matters in the HP books is white… Harry, Hermione (yes), The Weasleys, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Snape, the Malfoys, Mad-Eye Moody, Sirius Black, Voldemort, Wormtail, Remus Lupin, Tonks, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood… even the Dursleys (but their characters wouldn’t make sense otherwise).

The non-white people only have bit parts. Funny that.

Early illustration of a scene in Philosopher’s Stone done by Rowling herself and published on her website in 2004 :

hp_drawing

Notice how ‘Gary’ (who will become Dean Thomas) is clearly drawn as a black boy and Hermione looks perfectly Caucasian? The woman is in denial.

Jun

11

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

If Titi’s a titty, Ellen’s a twat

Ellen DeGeneres thinks it’s hilarious to publicly humiliate a woman for the sake of a cheap joke.

Titi Pierce has now been called a money-grabber by the media and half of Twitter for daring to sue everyone’s media darling. I really hate it when gay women get away with sexist behaviour that would have straight men in the doghouse faster than you can say Donald Trump.

She has received abusive phone calls and has probably changed her number by now, which can’t be cheap considering it’s her business number. Too right she’s trying to get some money out of Ellen – who has by the way not seen fit to apologise.

I really expected Ellen to have a bit more emotional intelligence, especially as she herself has been called Degenerate by countless moronic homophobes – and she’s a celebrity, not an ordinary member of the public.

So she believes it’s okay to make fun of something that is part of a person’s identity but that they did not choose to have. What could possibly go wrong with that kind of thinking, I wonder?

Hmmm...

Hmmm… wait, don’t tell me…

Jun

8

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Introducing The Ivory Tower Luvvie Bullshit Detector™

And boy, does it get a workout when I’m watching Have I Got News For You.

One thing that regularly happens is that one of the panel members mentions talking to a regular member of the public about the topic currently under discussion. We then invariably find out that the member of the public in question was the driver of their black cab. Because that’s the only time any of them are ever within breathing distance of the great unwashed.

Where your Licence Fee goes.

Where your licence fee goes

This week’s episode offered two gems, both coming from a comedian called Jason Manford (I have to give his name because “the episode with the comedian” doesn’t exactly narrow it down).

First he made a joke about not knowing how to use Series Link. The rest of the panel laughed without needing any more info because in their world, everyone has Sky. As for the rest of us, that’ll teach us to be poor.

What it feels like watching HIGNFY.

What it feels like watching HIGNFY

Then, later in the programme, he mentioned Wetherspoons, immediately adding: “the chain of pubs”. Because none of them has ever set foot in one, of course.

Wetherspoons? Is he a Founding Father of the United States?

Wetherspoons? Is he a Founding Father of the United States?

To hammer the point home, the joke was about how sad and clueless people who go to Wetherspoons are. Blimey, don’t sit on the fence, Jason, tell us how you really feel.

I haven’t felt so insulted for being an ignorant pleb since JK Rowling’s latest tweet/interview (more of that later).

Jan

14

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: WTF

It may have escaped your notice…

… but life isn’t fair.

alan_rickman

Jan

11

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: The Grauniad strikes again

I feel excluded when people think of me – feel my pain!

Dolce & Gabbana designs hijab range – this is supposedly offensive to Muslim women

The Guardian is killing me… I don’t even have the energy to comment on the utterly moronic piece above. Talk about a professional victim.

Dec

27

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: The Grauniad strikes again

I’m a racist

That’s right. I am not happy with Hermione Granger being played by a black actress in the upcoming play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Part I and II (move over Shakespeare), and in this day and age that makes me a racist. Oh no.

Right-On Rowling is of course gushing, but then again just imagine what she would have had to put up with from the media and (shudder) Twitter trolls had she expressed anything less than wild enthusiasm… luckily she knows which way her bread is buttered.

She is also being her own revisionist:

Canon: brown eyes, frizzy hair and very clever. White skin was never specified.

Whatever you say, Jo. Never mind the fact that Hermione regularly blushes pink or turns white with fright in the books, eh?

She is also never described as having frizzy hair. Bushy, yes. Frizzy, no.

As for her being played by the unmistakingly Caucasian Emma Watson in all eight films, this is apparently irrelevant as it’s officially Not Jo’s Fault:

twitter_rowling

And yet she was very vocal about nipping things in the bud when she wasn’t happy with them, like when Chris Columbus wanted some Hogwarts pupils to be American or when the Half-Blood Prince script had Dumbledore reminiscing about a pretty woman he used to know (“No! He’s gay!!” JK apparently shrieked). The line was cut.

Not so powerless when it suited her, it seems…

We're so over this.

This never happened. Do you hear?

Meanwhile, having correctly identified a gift that will keep on giving for ever or at least until the play opens, every randomly non-white Guardian writer (no need to be black, any other ethnicity will do) has now been tasked with inflicting their uninformed – it’s perfectly clear that none of them is a Harry Potter fan – opinion on the rest of us, insulting anyone who disagrees with the Official Party Line into the bargain:

Can Hermione be black? What a stupid question

Uh, thanks.

The Guardian, by constantly repeating the mantra “white by default”, keeps trying to brainwash us all into thinking this is a bad thing – in a country where nearly 90% of the population is white. Sorry, I meant hideously white.

Like this.

Illustration

This made me hyperventilate:

In the Prisoner of Azkaban, she is described as “very brown”.

She is described – by Harry who hasn’t seen her for two months – as very brown BECAUSE SHE JUST CAME BACK FROM HER SUMMER HOLIDAY!

If she were indeed black, would he suddenly notice that fact after knowing her for two years?

More silly quotes:

The default assumption of whiteness is so strong and unspoken, it’s a hard habit to kick.

And it needs kicking why? If an author wants us to know a character isn’t white, they’re free to use their words after all.

Hi, I'm Parvati Patil and this is my twin sister, Padma.

Hi, I’m Parvati Patil and this is my twin sister, Padma

The same is true of our heteronormative culture, which is why JK Rowling had to spell it out to us that Dumbledore is gay.

She did not spell it out, she mentioned it in passing during an interview. “Our heteronormative culture” is not to blame either. It just so happens that Dumbledore’s sexuality is so utterly irrelevant to the storyline that no one had even speculated about it. He’s over 100 years old, for a start!

If it hadn’t been for that little script issue I mentioned earlier, it would never even have come out (har har).

dumbledore_gay

Hermione is in a Muggle-born minority

Minority? Says who? This is entirely made up by the writer. If anything, the pure-bloods are an endangered minority in the Potterverse. The Muggle-born and half-bloods are doing just fine.

She is also an activist who understands and will stand up for the oppressed, whether people, giants or Hippogriffs, and who campaigns for an end to the enslavement of elves.

This is quite laughable. She’s a clueless activist who actually understands nothing about the causes she is fighting for. Her campaign to free house-elves is a dismal failure, because she is so convinced of being right that she fails to appreciate that the house-elves do not want to be freed (the Hogwarts house-elves even kick her out of the kitchens for going on about salaries and holidays) and that Dobby is an anomaly – who is already free anyway and wants nothing to do with her as he clearly thinks she’s bonkers.

Amusingly, this actually screams “leftie white middle-class guilt” to me… her parents must be Guardian readers.

Or not.

Or not

So, let’s recap the main characteristics of the character: Hermione was given a rare, literary name for pretentious reasons:

It’s a name from Shakespeare. It’s in ‘A Winter’s Tale’. Um … although my Hermione bears very little relation to *that* Hermione, but it just seemed the sort of name that a pair of professional dentists, who liked to prove how clever they were … do you know what I mean … gave their daughter a nice, unusual name that no-one could pronounce! I mean, parents do that!

(It’s actually a name from Greek mythology, Shakespeare just borrowed it)

She enjoyed a comfortable, rather privileged upbringing: her parents are dentists who go to the theatre in the West End, who like skiing and camping holidays, who take her to France… I simply do not expect a book character with this kind of background to be black. It is of course possible, but not very probable.

Guardian articles on this topic, as well as being tediously predictable, are also getting stupider by the day: “Muggles gonna hate” is the latest headline!

Seriously. It is becoming increasingly hard to tell the Guardian apart from the Onion.

And here we go again with the “white as default” obsession:

If race isn’t specifically assigned as black or Asian, then it’s assumed to be white. White people make up less than a third of the planet’s population but because of the way society is structured, it can sometimes seem as if the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny are assumed to be white too.

The planet’s population, uh? How about we look at the population of the UK, where Hermione was born and grew up? 3% black people in 2011. Three per cent.

And suddenly it’s a very different story!

Yup.

Hello again

If we can let actual non-white historical figures like Jesus, Cleopatra and Gandhi switch races

Cleopatra, along with the rest of the Ptolemaic dynasty, was actually Macedonian Greek and not Egyptian – but never mind.

If the lord of the jungle (Tarzan) and the king of hip-hop (Eminem) can be white

Oh dear… Tarzan is the son of an English lord and lady, who is orphaned as an infant and raised by apes. How on earth can he not be white?

Politically correct Tarzan

Politically correct Tarzan

So, just because I do not agree with this gigantic, author-approved retcon, I am now officially a racist. I’m not overly bothered though.

Sorry, what was that? Am I now going to boycott the play and sell my hideously expensive stalls ticket on eBay? Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.

From my cold, dead hands.

From my cold, dead hands

Dec

11

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Things that are said to women but not to men…

Would a man have to worry about this kind of thing happening when getting a Tesco delivery? Of course not.

Will this woman willingly open her door to a delivery driver again? Probably not, at least for a while. Just another life-limiting experience to add to the list.

Men often complain that women can’t take a ‘compliment’, but that’s because women can easily spot the “I would” subtext which instantly turns a remark from something potentially flattering into something off-putting. Men think they’re being subtle but it’s loud and clear (and makes you want to shower with bleach, quite frankly).

And then there are those men who think actually saying “I would” as crudely as they can is a compliment… case in point above.

burqa

Tesco’s gutless response disgusts me too:

Sofia said: ‘Tesco need to do something about it. This is a huge breach of customer privacy, but because it’s an agency driver, they’re saying it’s not their fault.

‘From what I’ve been told, they have dismissed him but he hasn’t been struck off by his agency. It’s like people won’t take responsibility for bad things that happen.

‘Tesco needs to accept responsibility. I have been a customer for five years now getting home deliveries, but they won’t even apologise.’

Agency or not, he is the face of the company from the customer’s POV. Plus, he now has all her details! This is terrifying.

He could now stalk her for years and she’d have to move and change her number to escape him – potentially another life-limiting experience.

But nobody takes stalking seriously (certainly not the police).

All the men in the comments who think sexual harassment is either the woman’s fault – if she’s fit – or no big deal – if she isn’t – terrify me too:

“only bit of banter, shes quite fit anyway”

“Two sides to every story. Maybe she led him on?”

“Creepy experience but the girl is not good looking at all. I feel sorry for the girl but On another note she is now seeking attention by having her pictures published.”

“Men have always been interested in woman, if your not interested send a text saying so or block the number instead of looking for publicity and maybe costing this guy his job. Your damned if you do, your damned if you dont.”

“Dont ask you dont get”

“These delivery drivers work really hard and I reckon she was probably off hand with him.”

“probably led him on to do it so she could get a bit of air time LOL”

“Poor chap, loosing his job! “

What the fuck. HE SENT A MESSAGE TO A COMPLETE STRANGER TELLING HER HE WANTS HER TO SUCK HIS COCK! HELLO?????? ANYBODY HERE????

And men wonder why women can be short with them when they get accosted in public.

Well, does this kind of thing happen to men? Does this?

sexual-harassment-comic-strip

Dec

8

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Lessons will be learned… or something

Here’s a pathetic story of a useless school that let an 11-year-old girl get horribly bullied for two years until the parents finally pulled her out.

Statement from the head:

“We are extremely disappointed that Erica’s parents have chosen to take her out of Unity Academy. Erica has had lots of support and interventions from staff during periods where she and her colleagues have fallen out of friendships with each other.

Most of these emotional issues have been resolved speedily and rebuilt through sitting down in discussion with parents and agreeing strategies for moving on together. It is most unfortunate and very sad that some previously resolved situations have been rekindled and escalated outside of Unity Academy.”

Where do I start?

“Colleagues” = A bunch of 11-year-old kids.

“Fallen out of friendships”, “emotional issues” = bullying. If we use euphemisms, it doesn’t sound so bad.

“Sitting down in discussion with parents” = no consequences for bullies.

“Strategies for moving on together” = meaningless waffle.

“Some previously resolved situations have been rekindled and escalated outside of Unity Academy”= Not Our Fault.

This statement tells us all we need to know about this spineless, moronic, incompetent head and school.

Nov

19

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Letting a book tell you how to live your life…

kuran
bible
tomriddlesdiary""

…is never a good move.

peaceforparis

Oct

16

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Quoted for truth

1
2
3
4
5

Sep

10

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Bear with me for a moment

For no reason at all, I was thinking about this:

dignitas

dignitas_logo

Then of course my mind wandered to this:

soylent_green_euthanasia

soylent_green_death

soylent_green_wafers

soylent_green_scoop

Can you see where this is going?
toblerone

TOBLERONE IS PEOPLE!!!

Feb

14

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Du pain, du vin… du bullshit

France stops entrepreneur from working as much as he wants, as per bloody usual

Seriously, wild horses couldn’t drag me back to that shithole. You just can’t change them.

How DARE you be open!

How DARE you be open!

Jean-Pierre Crouzet, head of the national bakers’ and confectioners’ confederation, said it made sense to uphold the rules to encourage competition by obliging people to buy bread elsewhere at least once a week.

He said: ‘They aren’t to prevent people from working but to ensure a balance, to promote the quality of products.’

Bollocks. Everyone in France has ‘their’ boulangerie that they remain faithful to day after day; this must annoy Monsieur Crouzet who obviously thinks all bakers, even bad ones, are equally entitled to customers’ money. Hence this rule forcing every bakery to close one day a week so customers regularly have to spend their money on bread they would not buy of their own volition. It’s a weekly hostage-taking situation by state-sponsored terrorists.

Only in a terminally socialist country like France could anyone believe this method “encourages competition” and “promotes quality”. Keeping the mediocre in business does nothing of the sort, it just encourages general mediocrity because nobody has anything to lose. It’s like everyone getting a medal just for turning up. I suppose that’s the balance he’s talking about.

Jan

7

By nightowl

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Categories: Miscellaneous

“Muhammad overwhelmed by fundamentalists” “It’s hard to be loved by morons…”

“Muhammad overwhelmed by fundamentalists”
“It’s hard to be loved by morons…”

France mourns four of its best-known cartoonists

Jan

4

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

What happens in Vegas…

Paedophilia, incest and bestiality. Happy New Year!

Dec

1

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: WTF

Geography lesson, huh?

geography_lesson

Sep

30

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

Why can’t people READ?

I’m talking about the idiots who take medication (or give it to their kids!) without bothering to look at the box, let alone read the instructions:

Stupid story 1

It says ALL OVER THE BOX that co-codamol contains paracetamol. She took it for six months without ever noticing!

Stupid story 2

The pharmacist was of course wrong wrong wrong but still. EYE. EAR. TWO DIFFERENT WORDS.

I feel so tired… so tired…

Sep

27

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: WTF

Food as punishment

I was just browsing a forum and came across a post which made my head spin: an American woman was complaining that her friend’s fruit salad was unpalatable as it had too much mayonnaise in it.

Mayonnaise. In fruit salad. Mayonnaise.

No. Just no.

No. Just no.

I read the post four times, thinking my eyes were deceiving me. Then I reminded myself that American taste buds are slightly different from European ones, to say the least. So I did a bit of research and found this recipe which appears to be totally genuine.

Celery, pineapple, walnuts, tinned tuna, grapes, salad, apples, mayonnaise/salad dressing and dates stuffed with peanut butter. Serve with hot soup and rolls.

It sounds absolutely horrendous to me. Just because you happen to have all these things in your pantry does not mean they belong together!

Still, it’s nowhere near as bad as Elvis Presley’s “Fool’s Gold” sandwich:

1. Coat a loaf of Italian bread in butter.
2. Bake it.
3. Hollow out the loaf.
4. Fill it with an entire jar of smooth peanut butter and an entire jar of jam.
5. Finally, stuff it with a pound of crispy bacon.
Serves 8-10 (or one Elvis).

I have no words.

I have no words

Sep

6

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

For once I don’t solely blame the driver

Speeding motorbike vs.car

Just watch that video. The biker was going at 97mph on a 60 road! He didn’t even see the car until it was too late (and shrieked), no wonder the car didn’t see him either.

Maybe the driver just didn’t look (after all he did lose his licence) but “Think Bike” is neither here nor there in this situation. People just do not have the eyesight of a peregrine falcon and a speeding car would likely have crashed into him too.

I watched the video several times, and even knowing what’s coming I cannot see the car until the very last second – and a car is much bigger than a motorbike. Even without looking, the car would have had plenty of time to turn if the biker had been following the speed limit.

The biker should have slowed down when approaching a junction too, but I suppose that was too much to ask.

And all his mother can say to excuse his behaviour is “He loved speed”?! Please, he was 38, not 18. Come on.

She even says “I just hope that somebody benefits from it, that motorists slow down” and sadly the irony of it just totally passes her by. Also, what happens if motorists love speed too?

Aug

4

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: Miscellaneous

We own the New York skyline, bitch.

So says the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. Apparently any depiction of said skyline could “evoke thoughts of the Port Authority, the twin towers, W.T.C. and the September 11th terrorist attacks.”

And we really don’t want that to happen, do we, boys and girls? Clearly, all that though-evoking can only be a bad thing. It’s not at all insane to think that way. Nope.

What can I say? I like to live dangerously.

What can I say? I like to live dangerously

May

30

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: WTF

No. No. Nonononono. No. I said NO!

Alas, even denial cannot keep my eyes from bleeding.

graduating_preschool

May

24

By nightowl

No Comments

Categories: The DM Strikes Again

Gypsies vs. Gays: a very DM dilemma

Oh dear, poor DM. What can you do when you have to report on a story where both parties are people you loathe?

Unfit biological parents have the sheer nerve to complain about adoptive family

Out of curiosity, I typed “gypsies” into the DM search engine and got 134 results; they’re obviously not afraid of using the word. And yet this particular gypsy family is only described as “Catholic”; you will notice that nowhere in this article are they referred to as gypsies, only Roma. How unusually respectful for the DM; I wonder why…

Oh wait. Could it be that the gypsies are up against a gay couple, the DM’s other bête noire? So the gypsies get given a varnish of Christian respectability (or so the DM thinks) because hey, they may be terrible parents and probably thieves, but at least they’re not filthy sodomites!

Thank the Lord for small mercies and all that.